If you’ve ever felt too thin, too fat, not ripped enough, just really physically inadequate as a man, then this video really is for you. Hi guys, I’m Robin and welcome back to my YouTube channel. This is a bit of a sit down one. I mean it really is. It’s a grab yourself a coffee, a tea, a coke.
It’s very much a Flat White Chat. Now, this is something that has been on my mind for a while and I really just want to kind of vocalise it and have a bit of a discussion. So this is just about you as it is about me. I really feel like we’re at a point where – as men – we are under silent attack.
It’s something which has not really been spoken about but something which we all feel which is messing with how we feel about ourselves and our bodies and also with our mental health; and this is something I think that really needs to stop. When I was a teenager I was very much owning that puppy fat term.
I had a round middle. I had a round face. I was really growing into myself. Then I went off to university and I turned from the comfort eating of crisps into the 99p vodka mixes, diet cokes and I lost a lot of weight and I looked better but I still didn’t feel like I looked the way that I should, and how people thought I should look physically. Now, fast forward 10 years to now. I’m a 31-year-old man. I’m confident.
I’m relatively successful and attractive-ish. I mean I don’t have a bad face. You might think what you want about my moustache. But I still think in my head day-to-day, if I was thinner, if I was more ripped, then I might be more successful or I might be happier.
But the thing is, I’m physically fit. I’ve done a marathon. I run daily or I go to the gym. I feel strong. I feel healthy. I have a balanced diet, I drink a lot of coffee, but I have a balanced diet and I push myself physically. I like to set myself goals but my body shape and the way I look doesn’t fit into the kind of thing that is perfection. We only have to look really on social media, on Instagram, on sites, on YouTube, in magazines, on TV and we are fed this image of the perfect man, even without saying explicitly, this is the perfect man.
He is the alpha male. He’s handsome. He’s successful. He is ripped and he gets all the girls or guys… or both. It’s this image that we have. We’re told that you can’t be successful without having a chiseled jaw. You can’t be successful without having abs. If you’re going to post a picture of yourself and your body is less than an Instagram model, then you have to preface that caption with #DadBod because you need to own up to not having the best body.
This is ridiculous. We’re also taught from a very young age that being a man is less about vulnerability and more about power and prowess. It’s less about talking about who you are and more about how other people see you. This has to change.
Apps like Manly, Photo Editor for Men, I mean I’m sure a lot of you are being targeted by the same app or other ones online. I was served this on Instagram. These apps are telling us really how we should be and it allows us to manipulate our own bodies in order to look better. You can give yourself abs, you can give yourself pecs, you can make your skin darker, more tanned, give yourself a tattoo, make your shoulders wider.
But what’s wrong with being you? With being me? Isn’t it enough? In recent years we’ve seen an explosion of body positivity and campaigns for women really talking about diversity and looking and feeling good in your own skin. I also feel like women collectively as a community and as a group are far more prepared to stand up and stop body shaming. They also support each other and they talk about being the best you possibly can.
I know a lot of men do that too and I also know in the women space, it’s not easy, but I think women are further ahead than us. I follow a couple of plus-sized models online who are so positive and they’re really helping to shape a change in how we look at body images and what we see as perfection. I think that sort of thing is still needed in the men’s space. Where are these men’s advocates? Where are these men’s campaigns?
Should we have them? Are they needed? And I think, I’m sure you’ll agree, the answer really is for this, yes! I know I’m not the only man that’s ever felt inadequate. I know I’m not the only man that’s ever felt attacked; and I know I’m not the only man who wants to make a change and this is what this is all about, a discussion, a conversation. Also, I just want to say, from getting to the age of 31 that you are enough.
However big or how thin you are, you’re not inadequate, you look great; it’s all about just owning yourself and really allowing yourself to know who you are. And your physicality and how you look is just one very small part of that. I know it might feel like it’s huge but for what it is…this is getting a bit deep.
What’s inside does really count. Stick with what you’re doing, be honest with yourself, be honest with those around you and that is worth far more. So, there you go. Thank you very much for watching this kind of Flat White Chat of a discussion. I just wanted to have this out with you guys.
This is not a flat white actually. It’s a very black and strong coffee but thanks very much. Leave your comments down below and if you don’t want to talk publicly about things you can DM me. I’d love to hear about your experiences and how you feel; and maybe you disagree? I still want to hear. But if you’re new to the channel and you’ve not yet pressed subscribe then please do hit subscribe right now.
The button is there. There are also more videos there. This is a blog. I’m also going to write about it right there; podcast, Instagram, there. But I’ll see you in my next new video. It will be a Brand Battle. See you Sunday. Buh-bye.